We see couples who are fighting or disconnected. This affects their sex life. Decreased sexual interactions, decreased libido or no sex occurs.
As couples work towards closeness, sometimes they also work on their sex lives. Below I are a few resources that I use with my clients.
Not feeling close? Download the 36 questions app. This app consists of 36 questions to bring you closer to each other. First, it was a research project, then a New York Times article and finally they created the app. My couples tell me this is a fun app to use during dinner or over several dinners. Once you answer the 36 questions the app is over. Take your time answering questions and being in the moment with your partner. Best thing? Free fun.
Gottman Card Decks is an app that gives you access to some Gottmans interventions. As you may know, the Gottman approach is a world-renowned method of treating couples. The sex card decks have different levels. One pepper card deck is mild (romantic non-sexual suggestions). Two peppers card deck is medium (for couples comfortable with sexual intimacy). The three peppers card deck is more adventurous. This last one is for couples who want to explore more wild sexual fantasies. Some of these can be a bit artificial and also a great way to work towards reconnection.
OMGYES This website is to help people become more familiar with women’s pleasure. It does need a one time fee but the reviews have been good. The best thing about this website is that these are educational videos made by real women.
101 Great Nights of Sex by Laura Corn This N.Y. Times bestseller is one of my all-time favorite books. It is fun and different. Half of the book is for her, half of the book is for him. Each activity is for one partner to read so the activity needs to be “open” to be read. Also, each activity is labeled according to money, time spent and level/type of activity. So, labeling helps with planning. As couples disconnect sometimes fun is missing. This book adds fun, mystery, and excitement to intimacy. A similar book for those not ready to work on sex is 101 Great Nights of Romance (same author).
Finally, there are two good authors worth mentioning: Ian Kerner and Emily Nagoski. Their books are super informative and helpful regarding sexual issues. I hope this has given you some ideas on how to spice your sex life!
Sabrina Bowen, MS, LCMFT provides couple, family, and individual therapy in our downtown Bethesda, MD office. Call or email today to set up your first appointment or a complimentary telephone consultation with Sabrina.