10 simple ways to create connection in your relationship

Couples Therapy in Bethesda, MD

It’s a week after Valentine’s Day – are you feeling as connected and loved as you did on February 14th? If not, you’re not alone. Even though it is literally my job to help couples heal old wounds and find new ways to show love and appreciation, it constantly surprises me how difficult it is to actually carve out time to connect on a daily basis. It just seems like there is never enough time in the day, and there is always something else that feels more pressing. Most of the time, our relationship doesn’t “scream” as loudly as a work deadline, taking our car in for an oil change, or even, watching our favorite TV show. But, nonetheless, our relationships need daily love, comfort, connection, and attention.

Here are some simple ways (10 minutes or less!) to incorporate love and connection into your daily routine:

1). Listen to a song that holds sentimental value (bonus points if you dance along)

2). Cuddle on the couch under a cozy blanket – turn off the TV and put away your phones

3). Share a current worry with your partner; listen & respond empathically to your partner’s worry

4). Talk on the phone during your lunch breaks & check-in about the highs and lows of the day so far

5). Look your partner in the eye and tell them you love them

6). Watch funny YouTube videos together – laughter brings us closer!

7). Set a timer for 1-2 minutes and hug each other, let your body relax and breathe deeply

8). Read a few pages of a book together, alternate who reads aloud

9). Look through old pictures of the two of you on your phone

10). Hold hands before bed and share one thing your partner did today that made you feel loved

Research tells us that couples feel the most secure and comfortable in their relationship when they know that they are important to their partner. When you prioritize your partner and your relationship (even if only for a few moments in a busy day), you show that you’re present, you’re in it for the long haul, and your partner is just as important to you as your daily to-do list.