In theory, wedding planning is fun. You get to prance around in a magical world with your spouse-to-be, picking out beautiful items for your registry, designing and hand crafting your invitations, and planning an epic party for your closest friends and family. In reality, wedding planning is fun….some of the time. The rest of the time, planning a wedding is stressful, challenging, and might give you a serious case of cold feet. So, how do you plan a wedding, while maintaining a strong, healthy relationship? Here are a few tips from our Washington DC couples counseling office:
Take a closer look. Many married couples tell me in Washington DC couples counseling that the problems they have today are the same ones they had years ago, when they first started dating and got engaged. The engagement period is a great time to put your relationship under the microscope and figure out the unhealthy patterns you and your partner fall into from time to time. But, how can you tell if a problem is minor or if it warrants more attention? Let’s take a look at the following example: an engaged couple is arguing about what the dress code should be for their wedding. Seems innocuous, right? If you take a closer look, you might notice that the couple differs in regards to culture or socioeconomic status. With this in mind, the issue of wedding attire might be about money and status: one family has tuxes and evening gowns hanging in their closets, while the other family has to rent or buy these items on a tight budget. Or, maybe this is a cultural difference: one family prefers to wear traditional dress from a particular country, while the other family feels that all guests should wear the dress of the majority culture. An argument about attire could also be about power and control in a relationship, specifically who gets the final say when we disagree about what to do? If you solve the underlying issue through pre marriage counseling (e.g., differences in culture, wealth, and/or power), it will be easier to come to a resolution on the obvious problem (e.g., wedding attire).
Address doubt. Some doubt is normal and to be expected when planning a wedding. You might look at your partner during a particularly nasty fight and wonder “Can I really deal with (insert annoying personality trait) for the rest of my life?” Marriage is a big step in any relationship and it should not be entered into lightly, so some doubt is to be expected and can be a sign that you are taking this decision seriously. However, if you find yourself circling back to feelings of uncertainty, doubt, and anxiety, you might want to consider Washington DC couples counseling. Premarital counseling can help you understand the root of your uncertainty and move past the doubt, so you can enjoy the engagement period.
Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize. Most brides and grooms would agree that their relationship is more important than the centerpieces at the reception. And, yet, many premarital couples find themselves on opposing sides of an issue, ready to do whatever it takes to have their vision for the wedding prevail. When this happens, take a minute to step back and remember why you’re planning a wedding in the first place: you love your partner and you want to spend your life with him/her. In A Practical Wedding, Meg Keene writes: “…The real point of your wedding day is to end up married. Married, with grace.” That’s it. It’s not about the centerpieces, or whether you buy your bridal party the perfect thank-you gift. If, at the end of your wedding day, you are married, then you have already had a perfect day.
Any tips for staying sane and strengthening your relationship when planning a wedding? Sound off in the comments!
Couples Counseling FAQs
When communication feels off or we keep having the same arguments, couples counseling can help us reset and find more productive ways to move forward together. At its core, this type of therapy gives us tools to understand each other better, improve communication, and rebuild trust. With support from a licensed therapist, we can explore long-standing issues or recent changes that are creating stress in the relationship. Those looking for Rockville, MD couples counseling often want to know what to expect and how the process can benefit them over time.
What Happens During A Couples Counseling Session?
During each session, both partners are given time to share their experiences and listen to each other in a structured, supportive setting. A licensed therapist facilitates the conversation and helps guide us toward more constructive ways of speaking and responding. At Lindsey Hoskins & Associates, sessions often begin by identifying patterns of communication and emotional responses that may be causing tension. From there, we focus on developing tools that can help us feel more understood and more in sync.
How Do I Know If We Need Couples Counseling?
We often consider therapy when we feel distant, frustrated, or unheard in our relationship. If conversations keep turning into arguments or if we’re avoiding certain topics altogether, those are clear signs that it may be time to talk to a counselor. Couples also seek help when transitioning through major life events like parenting, moving, or career changes. Counseling gives us a space to address those shifts and realign as a team. Whether we’ve been together for five months or fifteen years, seeking help doesn’t mean we’re failing—it means we’re committed to making things work.
What Is The Difference Between Couples Therapy And Marriage Counseling?
Both options provide support for relationships, but they apply to different types of situations. Marriage counseling often focuses on issues within a legal marriage, such as shared finances or parenting strategies. Couples therapy is broader and can apply to any committed relationship, including unmarried or same-gender partners. The approach at Lindsey Hoskins & Associates is flexible and personalized, which allows us to address the specific goals we bring to each session—whether we’re dating, engaged, or have been married for years. Couples counseling Rockville, MD services meet people where they are without requiring a particular relationship status.
Can Couples Counseling Save A Relationship?
Counseling can help us reconnect and understand each other more deeply, but the outcome depends on what we’re both willing to invest in the process. It can be a turning point for relationships that have lost their footing, especially when both partners are open to learning new ways to relate. Therapy doesn’t always result in staying together, but it does support us in making thoughtful decisions with more clarity. For many couples, it becomes a space to rebuild trust and shift long-standing dynamics that haven’t been working.
How Long Does Couples Counseling Usually Take?
The number of sessions varies depending on the goals we’re working toward. Some couples come in for just a few sessions to work through a specific concern, while others may attend over several months to address deeper or more long-term issues. At our practice, many clients start with weekly appointments and reassess as progress becomes clear. The process can be tailored to match our needs and schedules as things progress.
If we’re struggling to connect or manage recurring conflict, it might be the right time to start working with someone who can guide us through it. Seeking support through Rockville couples counseling is a step toward building a stronger foundation, no matter where we currently stand in the relationship. To learn how a relationship counselor can support your goals, reach out to the team at Lindsey Hoskins & Associates.