Couples Therapy Washington DC

Lindsey Hoskins & Associates offers our clients couples therapy Washington DC community members find to be very effective. Our caring staff and specially trained counselors can provide therapy to help you and your partner or spouse work on issues that are causing problems in your relationship. Call us to make an appointment or to find out more about couples therapy in Washington DC and how it may work for you.

Here are six common relationship issues that can be addressed in couples therapy:

• One or both partners want the other to change. If either person is unwilling to make changes in behavior but wants the other partner to make changes, this can cause disharmony. Behaviors and perception, whether it has to do with financial issues, substance abuse, or other issues, must be dealt with by both spouses. Otherwise, the issue may not be resolved and, instead, resentment may build which can lead to significant anger and arguments.
• One or both partners do not take responsibility for their behavior. Couples therapy Washington DC spouses and partners engage in cannot be fully effective if one or both refuses to acknowledge their role. Instead, they may place all of the blame on the other person which can prevent a healthy resolution of the problem.
• Either or both spouses are keeping significant secrets from their loved one. Though it’s not necessary to tell your partner every little thing, some things need to be shared in order to maintain a healthy relationship. Examples include extramarital affairs, gambling or substance addiction, or other behaviors that create emotional and other barriers in the relationship. One of the strengths of couples therapy Washington DC residents seek from Lindsey Hoskins & Associates is that in a safe environment it can be easier to divulge those secrets.
• Agreed upon changes in the relationship are not happening, and as a result, destructive behaviors are continuing. It’s often not enough to identify a problem in the relationship– changes are usually required in order to address or resolve that problem. Habits can be hard to break which requires patience from both partners. Frustration can set in if the perception is that change is not happening, or that it’s not happening fast enough. One approach taken in couples therapy Washington DC locals engage in is to improve communication methods. For instance, if an argument is escalating, it may be necessary to voice the concern that it’s time to take a break or to step back from the emotions. Our therapists can work with you and your partner to improve methods of communication. Safe guidelines that protect and respect the other person’s feelings can also be worked out in therapy.

How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

Many married couples who are having difficulties turn to couples therapy in Washington DC in order to try to save their relationship. For many couples, these sessions help them work through their issues and find happiness with each other again. However, there are couples who realize after counseling that ending their marriage is the healthiest choice for their family.

If you have decided that divorcing your spouse is the right move for your future, you may be wondering how to tell them. Although it may be the most difficult conversation you ever have, telling your spouse how you feel is essential. Clinicians providing couples therapy in Washington DC recommend that you have this very difficult conversation in the most mindful way possible:

Be Sensitive

Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and think about how you would react if they told you they wanted a divorce. Be sure to plan where and how you will tell your spouse rather than delivering the bad news when you are arguing about something else.

Have the Conversation in Person

Although it is easier to send an email or text message to your spouse, you should tell them you want a divorce in person. Regardless of whether you have been married for decades or just a few short years, initiating a divorce via email or text is cowardly. This may be something you can discuss during your Washington DC couples therapy sessions.

Be Direct

Rather than beating around the bush, be direct with your spouse. By sugarcoating the situation or talking about another topic at first, you will not be making the news less painful. Let them know you do not see your marriage working out even after couples therapy in Washington DC and would like a divorce.

Be Safe

If you believe your spouse may become physically violent once you break the news, be sure to have the conversation at a coffee shop or another public place. Be sure to tell a trustworthy friend or family member what you will be doing and where you will be. If you have been working with a therapist, then consider telling your spouse during your  Washington DC couples therapy session.

Make Time

Tell your spouse you are ready to divorce at the right time. It is a good idea to have this conversation during the evening or on a weekend when you and your spouse are not busy with work and other duties. This way, your spouse will have time to process the news.

Keep Your Children Out of It

When you are bringing up a divorce to your spouse for the first time, your children should not be around. If you need to hire a babysitter or ask a relative to watch your children, do so. Even if your divorce has to do with your children, they do not need to be part of the conversation.

Clinicians Providing Couples Therapy in Washington DC

While telling your spouse that you want a divorce is incredibly difficult, it is a conversation that cannot be avoided. Divorce will bring about many changes for you, your spouse, and your children. Attending couples therapy Washington DC families recommend like the ones at Lindsey Hoskins & Associates can help process through all of these changes and help your family heal. Call our office today to find out how we can help.

Explore the Solutions That Washington DC Couples Therapy Offers

If you are experiencing challenges in your relationship and would like to work on them, a trained clinician from our team may be able to help. Call us at Lindsey Hoskins & Associates to find out more about couples therapy Washington DC offers.

4 Signs That It May Be Time to Talk with a Therapist

Clinicians providing Washington DC couples therapy understand that in relationships, there are times when things are great and then times when things aren’t quite so wonderful. Relationships have a way of ebbing and flowing overtime, and there may be periods where both people do not want to part ways, but have reached a standstill with their partner. If you are in a relationship that you both believe is worth fighting for and are willing to put in the work to figure things out, then it may be time to call Lindsey Hoskins & Associates for help. Sometimes, seeking a little extra support from an unbiased professional who provides couples therapy in Washington DC is all that is needed to get things back on track. 

Here are 4 common signs that it may be time to book your first appointment with a therapist at Lindsey Hoskins & Associates:

#1 You Are Walking on Eggshells 

If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells and are afraid to tell the other person the truth even in little ways, then it may be time to seriously look at scheduling a couples therapy session in Washington DC with Lindsey Hoskins & Associates. If you feel like you have to tippy-toe around your partner, this can eventually lead to resentments building since you don’t feel comfortable expressing yourself. Resentment isn’t great for relationships because it doesn’t promote affection and desire for connection. 

#2 You Keep Having the Same Argument Again, and Again

If your relationship feels like it’s in a time loop where you’re having the same fights repeatedly, then you may want to seek help through Washington DC couples therapy. For arguments that keep coming up and never feel totally resolved, there are tools a counselor can teach you during couples therapy in Washington DC to finally work through arguments effectively. 

#3 A Lesson Keeps Popping Up in Your Relationships

Life may give us a similar situation over and over, regardless of who you are with at the time. If you find yourself dealing with the same lesson but haven’t quite learned it yet, then this may mean it is something you finally have to address. Otherwise, it can continue to ruin your relationships. While some couples may just be incompatible, there are other dynamics where one or both people need to heal and overcome a repeating battle in their romantic relationships. 

#4 Your Communication Has Been Lacking Lately

Being able to communicate in a healthy way is the foundation of all relationships that last. Clinicians providing couples therapy in Washington DC will tell you that 1ithout communication, it can be impossible to get through difficult times. A therapist at Lindsey Hoskins & Associates can guide you through conversations with your partner during sessions, helping teach both of you how to talk to each other in a way where you feel heard, understood, and respected. It can take time to develop different approaches of communication and is a topic that most couples struggle with at one point or another. 

4 Signs That It May Be Time to Talk with a Therapist infographic

What Will Your First Couples Therapy Session Be Like?

If you are thinking that couples therapy in Washington DC is right for you, you might wonder what to expect during the first session. What will it be like? What is going to happen? Perhaps you even feel scared or skeptical of therapy even working. A lot of these stigmas stem from biased ideas of the sessions; however, are often put to rest after the first session. 

You Will Meet as a Couple

When you begin you Washington DC couples therapy sessions, you both will be met by the therapist. The session does not involve individual meetings. In general, most sessions are together. There might be one or two that are done separately. The purpose of this is for the therapist to get some background information so that he or she can understand each one of your needs. 

After the first session done together, and apart from one or two individual sessions, the rest of the time will be spent with all three of you discussing, and resolving, issues. In the first therapy session, you will gain an understanding of what you can expect for any future sessions. You will realize a stage is being set where each of you can express your feelings and past experiences together – in a safe space. 

Addressing Distress in the Relationship

Also in the first session, the therapist might ask you about some of the main issues you are experiencing. You might also be encouraged to discuss what the primary stressors are. For example, parenting conflicts, anger, resentment, communication issues, intimacy problems, and more. You are asked to be open and honest. This will act as the basis for setting goals in therapy. Once these issues have been highlighted, you and your therapist will work together to improve these areas. 

Setting Goals

An important part of couples therapy in Washington DC is goal setting. During the first session, goals will be set. These are meant to help both of you experience positive interactions. If you don’t know what goals you have, your therapist will help you identify some. It is okay if both of you have different goals. The overall goal will be to achieve confidence, promote positivity, and move forward in the relationship.

Fearing Incompatibility

It is normal for a couple to have feelings of incompatibility or even fears of a divorce. Often, these people feel that couples therapy will result in the therapist encouraging you to split up. This is not true. A therapist will aim to heal the relationship, not separate it. Moreover, a therapist is not there to express whether you are compatible. They are there to walk both of you through challenges, teach you how to address differences, and practice effective communication. Whether you and your partner choose to separate or stay together will solely be up to the both of you – not a therapist. 

You might have many things cross your mind when you are thinking about trying couples therapy. This is understandable. The best way to approach the sessions is to have an open mind, and be honest with your partner and therapist. 

Are you and your partner feeling distressed over the lull in your relationship but are dedicated to make things work? We invite you to talk with Lindsey Hoskins & Associates to schedule your first couples therapy session in Washington DC right away.

How Therapy Is Different Than Talking to a Friend

When you’re struggling with something in life, it may feel good to talk about it with someone you trust. While talking to a friend could be a good way to get your emotions out, it’s not the same as seeing a therapist. Some feel that talking with a therapist is a waste of money because they could talk to their friend for free, but there are some real benefits of seeking out a therapist instead.

Confidentiality

A therapist is bound by the law to keep the things you say confidential. HIPAA forbids your therapist from talking about your issues with anyone. There are a few exceptions including you threatening to harm someone or threatening suicide, but even then, only those details will be exposed to the proper authorities. The rest of your conversations would be kept confidential. You don’t have that same guarantee from a friend.

Training

A therapist has been trained to help you work out your problems. In many cases, a friend will only lend a listening ear, and sometimes even commiserate with you. Training that a therapist undergoes allows him or her to help you:

• Gain new perspectives on your situation
• Learn how to journal as a way to get your emotions organized
• Figure out how your past experiences are affecting your current life
• Learn techniques to improve relationships in your life
• Identify certain negative behaviors and learn how to change them
• Be the real you

Non-Judgment

Even the best of friends are going to pass judgment on you to a certain extent. While they may not mean to be judgmental, someone who knows you quite intimately is going to know your true self and your true potential. It can be hard for that friend to be nonjudgmental as they hear the things you’re doing and dealing with.

A therapist is going to be completely nonjudgmental. He or she doesn’t know you from the next stranger on the street, and his or her goal is to help you, not determine for you how you should live. You can tell your therapist the deepest, darkest secrets you have without a worry he or she will give you a questionable look.

Objectivity

Therapists don’t get emotionally involved in your situation. They look at it from an objective point of view, working to provide unbiased guidance. The relationship stays completely professional. A friend, on the other hand, loves you. He or she could take your side without realizing it because the love and care they have for you is blinding them from seeing the situation objectively.

Contacting a Therapist Today

You need some good friends in your life to help get you through some of your tough days, but it shouldn’t stop there. If you’re looking for someone to talk to about certain issues, contact a therapist to get an appointment scheduled today.