Relationship Counseling Wheaton, MD
The Blame Game – Why A Couple’s Therapists Believe It Doesn’t Work
There are many misunderstandings about relationship counseling in Wheaton, Maryland. One of this is the fear that the therapist will blame or judge the client for their “mistakes” or take their partner’s side. Unfortunately, this is likely to prevent a person from ever seeking Wheaton, MD relationship counseling. It’s essential to explore why these worries exist and how they are generally incompatible with a therapeutic environment.
More Harm Than Benefit
Most people seek therapy when the fighting has reached a critical mass, or one partner (sometimes both) has done something to damage the relationship. At this point, most of the causation has been long forgotten. All that remains are the feelings of anger and resentment.
These feelings can seem unbearable, and people often want a therapist to tell them that they are right and their partner is wrong. It is understandable why someone would avoid therapy if they feel that the therapist is going to side against them or try to help their partner “fix” them.
A therapist that acts as a referee in a contest is likely only reinforcing the belief that a couple’s problems exist because one partner is right and the other is wrong. The goal of most therapists is to encourage effective communication instead of validating good behavior and shunning the bad. Therefore, in a session for relationship counseling in Wheaton, MD, a good therapist should not tell either person they are right or wrong. Rather, there should be open dialogue, encouragement, and unbiased guidance.
Doing the Most Good
A lot of therapists admit that it is often difficult to avoid taking sides when listening to passionate arguments and accusations. However, they typically consider it a vital part of the job to see how each partner contributes to the difficulties and then help them find common ground.
Many couples come to relationship counseling in Wheaton, MD, with hard feelings towards each other such as anger and frustration. But these feelings are often the external manifestation of internal roots like vulnerability, isolation and fear. Therapists usually try to separate the individuals from the emotions to breed understanding and compassion for each other and nurture a desire to help each other heal.
Why Blame Doesn’t Work
Often, couples seek therapy hating a part of themselves or their partner, and an aggressive reaction like blame from the therapist will likely make things worse. Before a partnership can re-learn how to trust one another, they need to trust their therapist to guide them instead of taking sides. If a therapist appears to be “picking on” one partner, that person will often be defensive and less likely to be honest about their actions or feelings.
Couple’s therapy is designed to get partners to talk to each other and learn to resolve their differences, and the therapist is only there to coach and guide their efforts. If your relationship is suffering, set aside your doubts long enough to give relationship counseling in Wheaton, MD, a try; you might be glad you did.