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Change

Posted by on April 13, 2016 in Blog | 0 comments

Change

A Therapist Chevy Chase, MD Trusts Discusses The Impact of Change:

Blind Melon has a great song called Change (yes, I was a high schooler in the early 90’s). If you are at all into music, look it up. Great song. Anyhow, I mention this song because Change is such an important concept to understand when embarking on the path to improving yourself or a relationship. The first stanza summarizes the doubt and fear that many people have when entering therapy:

“I don’t feel the suns comin’ out today its staying in, its gonna find another way. As I sit here in this misery, I don’t think I’ll ever see the sun from here.”

As a Chevy Chase MD therapist, a common complaint I hear from clients is that it is hard to imagine that things can ever get better – they don’t actually have hope that change can occur to the extent that they will find satisfaction in their lives or relationships. My job is to help my clients focus on the smalls steps to making change, rather than focusing on the distance from their starting point to their seemingly insurmountable goal of making themselves or their relationship feel whole again.

Here is an analogy that helps a lot: Think about being at the bottom of a mountain and having a long, steep climb ahead of you. You can’t see the view from the top from where you are, so why climb the mountain? Hikers take a leap of faith that the view is there. Like a seasoned hiker, I ask my clients to focus on the path – the path is there and so you start walking. There might be some lovely scenery along the way, you might get tired, need a break, trip and fall, but as you get closer to the top, you can start to see the glimpses through the trees of a lovely view. You can’t see that view until you do a lot of work to get you closer to the top, but that doesn’t mean the view isn’t there or is impossible to reach.

Another concern I hear as a therapist in Chevy Chase is the frustration with the speed of progress in therapy. I wish I had the magic wand that could just make everything better. Understandably, people presenting for therapy want things to get better in their relationship or family quickly. They come into therapy desperate for relief from the hurt, sadness, anger, and conflict that brought them into my office. I get it! No one wants to sit in that pain but, at the same time, change does not happen overnight. Oftentimes, I have to softly coach and support people in having patience with the process of change.

As a therapist Chevy Chase MD can trust, I often remind my clients that change takes time. The problems that brought them into therapy did not happen overnight and, therefore will not disappear overnight. Focus on the small changes and celebrate those victories – because each of those victories represents progress. Additionally, I believe it is important for change to happen slowly and, at times, with baby steps so you can learn how to implement the change in a lasting way. Quick change generally means it was hurried and not well thought out – a recipe for disaster.

If you are struggling with a relationship or change, we are happy to support you and coach you through these trying times with relationship counseling Bethesda MD can trust and as individual therapists Chevy Chase MD seeks out. Change is not easy, but we believe it is possible.

Lindsey Hoskins & Associates provides couple, family, and individual therapy in downtown Bethesda, MD. Email or call us today to set up an appointment or a complimentary telephone consultation.

 

 

 

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